Pivot Points: When Your Gut Whispers Jump
We all have those moments, crossroads where our inner voice whispers something our logical mind wants to ignore. Two pivotal moments changed the trajectory of my life, teaching me that sometimes the best decisions are made not with spreadsheets and pro-and-con lists, but with an open heart and a willingness to leap into the unknown.
The Christmas Eve Gamble
Picture this: Sicily, 1932, no, sorry, Cincinnati, Christmas Eve 1992. I'm 22, fresh out of the University of Cincinnati, working at Procter & Gamble's Ivorydale Technical Center, managing Excel spreadsheets for Cheer and Tide in their heavy-duty liquid (HDL) department. My life was predictably mapped out in corporate beige.
Then came dinner with my friend B, his aunt L, and her partner M. L had been fired from Blue Cross/Blue Shield simply for being gay (Ohio in the 1990s!) and M quit in solidarity. Over flowing glasses of vino and righteous indignation, they told us of their plans to move to San Francisco and open a Postal Annex+ franchise. Then somewhere between the wine and the wanderlust, they offered us a smidgen of that truck space for our own stuff. By the next morning, fueled by alcohol-induced courage and a sudden hunger for change, I'd committed to abandoning my burgundy Toyota Tercel and my Ohio certainties for the foggy unknown of the West Coast (where I’d never even visited before). That drunken “yes” became 18 years in San Francisco, my coming-of-age during my 20s and 30s.
The Bangkok Epiphany
Fast-forward to December 2010, and I find myself on holiday in Bangkok with my friend L, in an ego-dissolving, spiritually momentous psychedelic experience, during which I had an awakening, an epiphany, right here in the same building where I now write these words.
After a near-death experience in 2003, many adventures and many friends, and seven respectable years at a job I quite loved, San Francisco, always the cool, grey city of love, suddenly felt small, confining. Not because it had changed, but because I had. Like outgrowing a relationship that served its purpose but was no longer meant to be forever. That psychedelic revelation was my second pivot point. By April 2011, I was living here in Bangkok's tropical chaos, trading fog for humidity, familiar for foreign, comfortable for transformative.
What I've learned from nearly 15 years in this magical, frustrating, enchanting, and perplexing megacity of 12 million is that the best decisions often feel terrifying in the moment but inevitable in hindsight.
Both of my personal pivot points shared common elements: an inner voice that spoke louder than logic; a willingness to trust the unknown over the comfortable; friends who dared to dream alongside me (and two who even moved here too); and the courage to disappoint expectations (including my own).
Today, I'm calmer, more centered, and more content than I ever imagined possible. I've built a life that includes daily gratitude for a life well lived.
Maybe you're reading this from your own version of corporate beige, wondering if that whisper in your gut deserves attention. Maybe you're afraid of disappointing people, abandoning security, or looking foolish. Here's what I would tell my younger self: Be open to all experiences. Maintain a growth mindset. Stay curious. Be kind. And when life offers the chance to jump into the unknown, consider saying yes.
Your pivot points are out there. The question isn't whether they'll come, but whether you'll be brave enough to recognize them when they do.
